Did I Hear Jamie's Dress Rip???

Oh Jamie. Shit. I am hiding my face in my arms with my head on the ottoman. Please. Stop. The. Madness. Did her dress just rip? Why is she mounting him and why is she directing the kiss? I think she might be a little drunk (for her sake I so hope she is) but regardless this has to go down as one of THE most awkward Bachelor moments to date. It is a shame they had to show this on National TV…poor, poor girl. All that and still no rose…ShOcKeR.

Kasey S…She is in the running for “Ugliest Crier.” I think perhaps she does need therapy. Hmmm…trying to fall out of love with one boy by falling in love with another? Yes, because that works and is a super healthy way to start off. Like starting off via Bachelor is even healthy but then you go and throw this loop in? It is called, “break up, spend some time getting to know Kasey, like her, date some, get drunk at bars and wake up in a few random beds, take a walk of shame (or 2), go on more dates and maybe, just maybe you will find that you have forgotten all about the boy who didn’t want to marry you and maybe meet the one who does. It really is that simple and NO, I am not typing from experience!

And as if we didn’t have enough Awkward Moments tonight why don’t we hop on the “Crazy Train” and take a ride with Blakely? Blakely made Ben a book…looks sort of like the kind I made for my boyfriend WHEN I WAS A 16 YEAR OLD SOPHMORE IN HS! REALLY??? How does she think she is falling in love when she hasn’t even had any one on one time? Feeling she was out for the win not the boy. There are lots of “perhaps'” for her demise but I get a strong sense that it came down to clothing. Again, another romper… this one in blue rayon with another big elastic belt around her waist. Not to mention the men’s oxford shirt with the black thong underneath that she wore to dinner with yet again, another elastic 4 inch high belt. Any girl who regularly catalog shops at Fredericks is not going home to Sonoma. Never saw her hanging with mom and sis anyway. Back to VIP’ing the tables and to wherever it is that she perfected her shimmy and sway. Works for Salsa but not for Ben.

Happy for Rachael…she is starting to grow on me. I still don’t see them together but she is a beautiful girl and definitely one of the “good ones”.

Kasey B..so as my husband and I were both drooling over her rockin’ body we were suddenly sobered by her admission of anorexia and bulimia…both awful diseases and so serious. So, as there are MANY awful yet funny comments I can interject here, as a mom of 2 girls I will not do so…big believer in Karma and all. I now will however be watching to see what she does (or does not) eat…another obsession, compliments of this show. I would like to comment however that she wears wayyyy to much make up on beach dates and in general…oh those Southern Girls like their pretties!

Emily…she is just a cool chick. I hope Ben is kicking himself, hard, in the balls for being such a dick, especially where she was concerned. She is classy and she can rap a mean beat. Bring it Jay-Z…he aint got nothin’ on this blonde, smart, PHD, more than likely privileged white girl. There will be plenty more where she is concerned, twitchy nose and all.

I bet like you were all focused on like how many times Nikki said “Like” last night weren’t you? Like, she like said it like A LOT.

Lindzi with a Z. I keep trying, I really do, but I just don’t love her. I know Ben does but then again he likes Courtney so I don’t think his opinion counts. She is dorky, her teeth are big, her dimple is so deep that you can see the foundation that she cakes on pooling within, not to mention (again) that she is really young. Young in age only works when the person is mature…she is just young. I wonder if she is missing her horse? I think it might be time to go back to the ranch and go for a ride (and no, not on Ben).

Courtney, Courtney, Courtney. There are no words…well, who are we kidding, actually there are plenty of words. First of all, you have no boobs, so going topless under the bead top was not that impressive…just silly. You had no right to dance or play soccer with those little loin cloth wearing tribe babies …probably scarred them for life. You got dissed by Ben…he probably went to Kasey B’s room instead of yours and yes, even though you looked killer in your white bikini and Ben probably sprung wood just watching you, don’t be so flattered…he was only with Jamie after all. Anyone who wears a necklace with their own name on it sucks BUT there is a slim chance that the only girl who could stand being part of an “ever after” with Ben is her. I am not sure if any of the others are tough enough to put up with his crap…

I am liking him less and less. Yes, I just typed that. He is a baby, unwilling to compromise and a power tripper. He will eat the Kasey B’s and Lindzi’s of the world alive. Mentally abusive much? Really, Courtney is the only one who could throw his shit back at him, which is why she will not be the last girl standing (clearly amongst many other reasons). I really want to be wrong about Ben but as I see these girls open up I see him getting cockier and cockier. He simply shuts down the minute he doesn’t like something. And speaking of cockier…nice loin cloth. I don’t care if you are in Panama with the natives, please do not do that again. There really is never a good time to wear one of those things. Finally, I have MAJOR issues with all of the cut-off shorts he was sporting last night. I was mortified by the skin tight white pair he had on when exiting the jeep at the hotel in Panama and although the khaki pair with the blue gingham shirt worked much better (minus the micro flare at the hem…doesn’t he know that will make his thighs look fat?) a tailored hem would be best. I am not sure why this guy is so hemmed challenged but if I were his betrothed it would be tops on my list of “Things I Need To Fix As Soon As We Are Engaged….” C’mon married girls…we all had (and maybe still have) a list.

Adios to Panama and on to Belize…Is Courtney’s dirty charade going to come to an end? Is Lindzi going to carve “I love Ben” in the side of her foundation laden cheek to prove her love? Will Nikki try to minimize the use of the word “like” to 2 per rambling sentence? Whatever happens this is the “chop down” to hometowns so claws (and as long is Courtney is around who knows what other body parts) will be out. Game on!