Ready For It To End!

Okay…so I typed this last Tuesday morning and minimized it on my screen and hence it has been sitting minimized for almost a week. Why was it sitting there minimized? I just couldn’t close it out. Nothing “snappy” to end with. And so, here lies the problem of The Bachelorette. Nothing snappy about this season AT ALL! Asia not doing it for me, the Bachelorette is blah, the drama started out strong and then just got so lame that it died out just as strong, no good hot tub scenes, pillow over the eye moments are totally missing, guy fights (no…Ames getting punched in the head by Solar Boy does not a fight make) and just no FUN. This has been the weepiest Bachelorette to date, so intense and “me” focused that there just is nada to sink my teeth into here. I am enjoying the pool of boys but I am not inspired whatsoever by this go around. A waste of the shows $, a waste of some of these cute boys time and if it weren’t for the lack of truly good stuff on Monday nights, sometimes a waste of my time too (okay, I still would watch but….). SO, with that said, I think I might delete out the “not quite finished, sort of left hanging there” last paragraph and consider this my final say. I don’t know, maybe I will, maybe I won’t. I am going to re-read my work now and make a decision. Who knows, maybe I will inspire myself! Anyway, you got to read through this to see what I decides, so get to it!

Two episodes ago all Ashley wore on every date were varying styles of see through, chiffony style cream blouses with legging type pants, circa 1990. Every time we saw her she had a shirt of that style on. Last night every shirt she wore was backless (except for her date with Ryan…it was more like an electric blue bib). Who wears heals that are 4” spikes when touring around Taiwan? Not to mention (but I will) the 2 different super short floral skirts with high black elastic waistband? Taylor Dane knows that not only someday love will lead you back to her heart but she is also hoping it will lead Ashley back to her closet where she can deposit back said clothes. If Ash shows up in cornrows next week I really won't be shocked. Whoever is styling this girls has got a thing for 90’s fashion…for better or for worse.

Apollo aka Constantine sort of had me last night. I wasn’t quite teary but I may have felt a little tiny bubble of one as he and Ashley let their “love wish lantern” (I think Ben is a much better artist) float up into the Taiwanese night sky. Apollo really needed a good date as far as I was concerned because he had a lot of making up to do. The boy, on their last date, wore WHITE ANKLE SOCKS without shoes on a beach dinner date (even while laying on the lounge). This sends some interesting and disturbing messages…”I have severe toe jam that I don’t want you to see. My 2nd toe is A LOT longer than the rest of my toes. My heels are like sandpaper. OR, it could swing the other way which might simply be, my feet are too sensitive for this sandy earth..” Either way you look at it, toe jam, fungus, sensitivity, white ankle socks…none of it is good. I fell asleep before next week’s scenes but my “spoiler alert reader” sister let me know that Apollo’s family looks like a good time. A little Greek dancing, flying money, some shots of ouzo…OPA! Should be a fun one to watch~

Benny Ben Ben…my main “walk of shame” man…good for you (minus the white rasta beanie dangling off of the back of your head…never a good look on a white man and sometimes even questionable on a brutha.). Where Constantine had me at ALMOST a tear, Ben actually achieved it. Just because I cry during episodes of Full House (yes that would be the show that sky rocketed the weird Olsen twins to fame) does not mean that I cry easily. Regardless, I just enjoy watching them together…I don’t get all cheesed out (Solar Boy anyone? Yes, he is a few paragraphs down) by them and that is huge. He might baby talk a little too much to her but think that is her style. I was concerned that he was going to crash the moped since he kept looking back and talking but not only is he a skilled winemaker, and a sleep over Casanova but he clearly is great driver as well. I just find him to be a calming presence..something this little basket case could use. He stayed so rational during the “Ashley reveals Bentley skeletons” fiasco. He looked hurt but pensive and said nothing..didn’t judge (could be why Blake got sent home that night and why Lucas was sent packing last night….hot heads.). I am afraid she might hurt him (Bitch better not) but I am going to stay solid in my belief and gut and continue to think that he is it (if she is smart, which is questionable).

JP…ICK last night! Waaah, Waaaaah, Waaaaaaah! What a (watch for it…f bomb dropped) fucking baby. What a disappointment. After all of his pouty faces I couldn’t look at him the same. Suddenly the wrinkle between his eyes (botox spot anyone) and forehead were no longer charming. He reminded me of a pug dog with those ugly wrinkly faces that only a mother could love. I no longer find him cute…just straight up annoying. I know he tried to talk it out with her and dumb ass Ashley feeling all bad gives him the rose (takes one to know one)…way to encourage him to continue to baby it out when things don’t go his way. I guess even guys pull the “I thought we had this connection last week and that we were solid” blah, blah, blah. Dude, newsflash…she is still dating 5 other guys and she has really strong connections with some of them too. Why do people on this show think they are the only ones with a “special connection?” Wake up and smell the Emily Maynard! It was watching the show back that was the demise of her and Brad’s relationship. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO WHEN YOU SIGN UP FOR THIS SHOW!!!! Do not be so naïve! If he is “it” at the end, I quit. She has issues that are already somewhat difficult to reign in and clearly JP has issues too. I FIRMLY feel this pairing
spells = DISASTER.

Somewhere in San Diego an entire grid went out. Solar Boy…the dream to put a constant bright smile on everyone’s face has come to a crash and burn end. It was so strange to see his megawatt smile drop in a nanosecond when she declared “no romantic feelings”. Poor guy was SHOCKED. When he was starring at her in disbelief “you don’t want to meet my family????” tumbling out of his mouth…it was a (gentle)pillow moment. I was telling him to “STOP, Shush, hush, no talkie”. Say “thanks, good luck” and move on. BUT, No…pinky shirt had a major melt down and it was not pretty. I actually felt bad for him but selfishly was relieved at the same time. His departure was long overdue. I will however say I am so grateful he shared the difference between a hot water heater and a tankless hot water heater and the impacts they make on our planet. Who knew? Seriously? Could this possibly be part of his problem? Who does that on a date? Good thing he is successful and somewhat good looking…maybe he will meet a lovely deaf girl who will love his smile. Regardless…lights are out on this one!

Ames…don’t know what it is but he is hanging on…red pants and all! I do know what it is actually. He is such a gentleman and is very interesting. Regardless of the fact that he looks like a distant relative of the “Despicable Me” characters (I know, last time it was ET) I do like him. He is always a great sport (sweet tux last night) and really gentle and kind. I just cannot bash the guy. I am sure his hometown will be interesting…so upper crust East Coast but it will be a good one to watch. Some thought he was a surprise pick over Lucas last night but I was not surprised at all. Lucas proved to be a hot head and you have to take in account his divorce and if that played into the demise of his marriage. He is a total “reactor” and Ashley managed to see that in him (how she missed it in JP I am not sure). I was not a huge Lucas fan so I am fine that he is gone and happy that we will see a little bit of Ames real life.

So, Constantine, Ben, Ames and JP. Looks like she has got the majority of boys closer to her current State…only Ben is a West Coast boy which I think will come into play when weighing out her options (location, location, location and she still has school in the East to finish up). Some quality guys in the mix and hometowns are always pretty telling…should be a good one next week.

I fell asleep during the Emily meltdown but I honestly am over her. IF she is the next Bachelorette then this show is as stupid as people say it is (right now it is only sort of stupid). She has no business doing it but I can totally see it…She will be Bachelorette and they will have Bentley back as one of her bachelors. Speaking of Bentley since I didn’t comment on that week….what a complete loser and waste of time. Ashley imploded big time as well. That rose ceremony was painful and the girl brought it upon herself. In case you were wondering, viewership is down over 10% this season…no surprise here. Asia, no hot tubs, hardly a really good, juicy pillow over the eye moment, Bentley and a completely weepy, immature and insecure Bachelorette = yawn, channel surfing, annoyed, not super invested or interested. BUT, of course we will watch because we want to see hometowns and who she picks and who is left broken at the altar (or I might call it “dodging a bullet”). We will of course tune into “Men Tell All” because you know Bentley will show for another go round at camera time. I know there is not a whole lot going on at 9:00 on a summery Monday night but still, for the love of Pete what is wrong with us?! Like I said at the get-go of this season we are all a bunch of suckers…so much so that I spent another 20 minutes on this damn blog finishing up this ending (even though I could have left it hanging) and you took the time to read through to see what I ended up doing ;) At least we are all in good company!