Should I start or end with the asshole that is Bentley? I could really just write the entire blog about him and how pathetic and ridiculous he is BUT then I might end up leaving out the roasting debacle that was William. Also I would hate to leave out the cuteness of JP (he is a better kisser then Bentley even though I thought he might bite her nose) and how he came in at the right time, regardless of the cheesy pose he was striking while donning his too tight plaid flannel jammies. He is one of the good guys though...likes her in her purple glasses and all.
So the roast…Sort of a stupid & tear inducing idea anyway. Who REALLY wants to be teased by and in front of all of those guys and who, clearly besides William wants to do that to her? In fairness to the Little Prince, he was just running with it. Stand Up is his dream and he was given a shot so he kicked it up a few notches. Left him farther to fall, but he was saved in the end…probably due to the extra spot left created by Bentley’s exit. Every show has got to have a little drama. Obviously this one would have had plenty without the Roast so maybe the show heard our cry for a little extra “somethin’ somethin’”. William was an idiot but he is back for another week.
Ryan the Solar Boy got another rose…impressive. I have to say though he is starting to turn the cheese dial way up and I fear the cracker is going to give under the weight of it. His smile, his hair, his wistful looks…yep, he is starting to bug. I look forward to the guys calling him on it next week. FIGHT!
We said “so long, farewell” to Chris (never gave me anything good to write on so I knew he was on his way out) and our favorite resident Zorro. He revealed himself, she was disappointed, he looked “kind of old” and there wasn’t a lot of personality going on. C’est la vie to you and the mask. Again, why we had to watch him reading ad’s on the pot while talking to Bentley who was working individual strands of his coif was weird and inappropriate. I am not sure who thinks that anyone would be interested in that piece of footage? I was just praying that I wouldn’t hear a little “plop” in the background.
Okay, Okay, so you want to talk Bentley? I don’t get it? Is the guy planning on taking a vow of celibacy and this is way to secure that no girl (a sane one anyway) will want to date him or even get within a 5 mile radius of him? Does someone with such a horribly mean spirit really deserve to parent a little girl? Speaking of, payback is a bitch Bentley…you better hope your daughter never brings home one of you.
Calling Ashley an “ugly duckling”, (I know, I know the eyelashes are wayyy to long and fake but that does not an ugly duckling make!)the faces he made when her eyes were not on him, using his daughter as an excuse, rubbing Ashley’s hair out of her face while she is sobbing and then of course the crowning jewel, the words every woman longs to here, the selfish cherry on top…the “dot, dot, dot”. You asshole. I started to ask, “What has she ever done to you?” It is fine to play it up a little and then leave but to try and manipulate her into thinking that she shouldn’t pick any of the remaining guys because he might be there waiting for you when this ride is over? So then the other crazy voice in my head was saying “STOP ASHLEY!!!” Stop crying, and begging, and baby talking and believing this guy. You ARE NOT in love with him dumb ass. He DOES NOT have your heart and you would be stupid to stop looking in this process at this point anyway, even if Bentley were still here! 3 weeks is not enough time for anyone. Pull your big girl panties up, climb out of that purple satin duvet covered bed and move forward!!! And Chris Harrison…I love the code in which he was speaking and that he was trying to point out that Bentley was not into her at all, but the girl was barely registering what he was saying. She wasn’t really listening. Show her the tape. Let her know what he has been saying about her. Make Moneyball look like the hero (did I just say that???). It was all just so raw and mean and awful to watch. The whole “If Emily were here this might have been a different outcome” comment? What makes you think Emily would even be interested in you? In case you haven’t noticed she prefers tan guys, with tighter haircuts and styles. I don’t think she is in to the Utah asshole mountain man look.
I have no idea what Bentley was out to prove or accomplish here but I think we all pretty much agree that he showed everyone that he is a borderline sociopath and one slip up shy of the looney bin. He is fine no more. I would be rinsing my mouth out with Listerine..the old school nasty flavored hard core yellow one to rid myself of the Bentley germ. Swish, swish, spit!
I thought Ashley looked so wiped and defeated and I really felt bad for her. I couldn’t stop wondering what the guy she picked might have been thinking and feeling during her crying fit(s)….yikes. This will be an unforgettable “Guys Tell All” and “After the Final Rose” that’s for sure.
Well, in true Bachelor/Bachelorette spirit..onward and upward. Something tells me our little Ash perks up and somehow, someway finds love. Will it be in a longtail boat on the waters of Phuket Thailand or on the back of an elephant or in the beautiful green blue waters of Fiji? Don’t worry, love is out there and it will bite her in her perfect little ass soon. She might not have any boobs, and she might not be Emily but they all sure love her little booty and are still clamoring for a piece of it. Go on Ash…give it to them! You will be saying “Bentley Who?” in no time!
Nicely said Mands! I just need to add that I think the only reason she really fell hard for Bentley was because he was the "bad" guy... So cliche and so wrong! Definitely falls into the "my daddy was not a good role model for me" stereotype. I want to tell her to pull up her big girl panties and find a MAN, not previously-mormon boy who clearly has been ousted from the church!
ReplyDelete...keep 'em coming and thanks for writing!
Kathryn