Bentley, Bentley, Bentley...

Sorry for the delay…again! I got caught up in thinking what an idiot Ashley is for even entertaining the thought of Bentley EVEN AFTER she was warned, that I totally forgot to blog. Giving him a rose on the group date? Sitting all over his lap and “hmmmmm’ing” through his kisses? BEGGING him to stay? I wanted to jump through the tv screen and tell her to stop acting like such a "school girl crush" FOOL. Ughh…she is looking back right now and just cringing…she has to be.

Okay, SO, I was wrong about him last week. Bentley is 100% DICK. Yes, he is hot BUT he is a bad, mean boy. As I mentioned above, Ashley has been warned, but let’s keep in mind that she does not know all the stuff he is saying behind the scenes (yet). The fallout of this one should be enough to make you want to watch and see! I don’t know what the guy’s agenda is, but when you make Wes look sweet, you know that you are “the bad seed”. Like I said about Moneyball last season…if you are a parent and choose to go the route of reality tv, you have a responsibility to act like a thoughtful, caring individual…even if you are not one. Poor little Cozy Shack…her male role model sucks big time. This boy is bound to make all the past villains seem like pups.

William, William, William (he sort of looks like Prince William...I think it’s the teeth?) You were SO on the right track on your date. I loved him during Vegas, thought he was so brave for saying “I DO” and such a great sport through the process. Fast forward to time in the house…diarrhea of the mouth dude! STOP talking about your date to anyone and everyone who will listen! Finally, when you already have a rose DO NOT take Ashley away from guys who don’t during the rose ceremony. I HATE when people do that. You’ve got the rose now BACK OFF. Wills is a little too “gushy” and I fear, (I say it with a sharp intake of breath) CLINGY. I think it is only right of me to throw out GOOBER ALERT here (this stems from many things but especially all of the impersonations). Wills has potential so hopefully he won’t totally disappoint. Side note…is it really a good idea for two children of alcoholic dads to hook up? Let alone the emotional issues x 2 but the gene pool here could be sketchy…just a thought.

Oh, Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind HEY MICKEY! What a PLEASANT surprise he turned out to be!!!! I was sort of pulling for JP to win the flip but so happy to get to know the stud that is Mickey. I feel nervous being so impressed by him as it is possible that I am setting myself up for disappointment but I am going to keep my fingers crossed here, go with my gut and state now that I believe Mickey will be a front runner. So calm, cool and collected. Maybe a little too mellow for her BUT he could be the yin to her yang, the salsa to her flax seed infused tortilla chip, the glue to her crown. Whatever he is, he is one to watch.

So, if you are in Vegas anytime soon, the Jabawakeez show looks worth it…minus the Bachelor dance troop. Ashley held her own though. I was noticing that she and I are very similar in body type…especially the abs. It was like looking in the mirror…HA! I thought West made a good call by playing the melancholy card and sharing the loss of his wife with her. VERY heavy for a 10 minute chat but it explains (to her) why he is so reserved..I still like him. Still a BIG fan of Ben F. and look forward to when they have a one on one. What does it mean when no other guys stick out in my mind from this date? I am scanning my brain here but only West, Ben F and Bad Boy are in my memory bank! Not a good sign.

JP pulled the kiss to seal another week, Solar Guy (Ryan P.) stays even without a date, Paul Mitchell aka hair guy Stephen (he was a strange duck) is out. I knew this would happen but I was so hoping that he would have time to talk to her about her current hairstyle before she gave him the ax! The little blonde smiley guy, Ryan is gone (which now brings us to just one Ryan) and so is Mama’s Boy, Matt. She also keeps Lucas (who is he?) and so not attractive Ben C….perhaps it is his England upbringing, French father and ability to speak French…who knows? Super smarty pants Ames gets to spend another week in the pool along with our Mystery Masked Man, Jeff. We came SO close to the big reveal, so maybe next week? Our resident Adonis, Constantine is in the house ya’ll and Smiley, sunny, buff Nick stays along for the ride with our fellow perfect teeth, Dr. Blake. Rounding out the group who gets to sleep with a bunch of guys for another week is the youngin’ Chris D. I got nothin’ on him…yet.

I can’t wait for Monday just to see what shakes out with Bentley…I know, sad but true. I know the rest of you Bachelor whores feel the same way so don’t judge here. We know it won’t be Bentley in the end so if she could just play it cool with him and still steal a few kisses from his fineness while he is around then I would cheer that on. She might as well get some of him because this week is her final shot. Word is, Bentley pulls the biggest Bachelor betrayal yet and is gone come Monday. I know the tears are going to fall and I so wish she wouldn’t…he’s just not worth it. I have no doubt that there won’t be a few darling boys who are ready to swoop in and kiss her ouchies away. Bentley’s exit will rid us of his drama (but I will miss his face) hence leaving room for all the good guys. Hopefully the good guys got a little somethin’ somethin’ to keep this baby burnin’. I see a lot of good boys who don’t go bad in our future but if this is what brings a Happily Ever After, then I am game. But, maybe we could get a little hot tub action????