She's Baaaaaccckkkkkk......and has brown hair and bangs.

Damn It! I told myself, “NO!” that I was not going to indulge in this round of Bachelorette. I was going to go on hiatus like all of my favorite shows and take a break from the pressures of reality tv and this blog. Damn this random rainy day when instead it should be 85 degrees outside as that is the catalyst for my ungluing today. I sat down to too much laundry, pulled up my DVR list and there it was, just 2 simple words, taunting me to hit “play”. I don’t ever consider myself weak and I am not one for self-indulging at 9:00 am but I just couldn’t control my trigger-happy finger and before I knew it, there was Ash, with her new “do” (I already have an issue with her bangs), dancing all over a stage in an empty auditorium (explains how she hit it out of the park when she scored the role in Love with Brad in Vegas…who knew she was a professional dancer as well?) with her voice in the background talking about “no regrets” this time around.

Role camera on a few of the potential “husbands”, one running with his shirt off and perfect pecs, another walking along his vineyard, running his fingers through the rich Sonoma soil (love him already), another standing on a roof admiring the solar panels his company had just installed as he tries to make the world a better place (first impression rose anyone?) and finally a lawyer from SC who lost the love his life to a seizure in a bathtub (he found her face down, dear GOD!). The whole Bentley thing (he is SO HOT) has me intrigued just on its own and I have to say Ashley isn’t as annoying as I expected her to be. She is actually engaging, mellower and really easy to watch. How do you expect me to hit “stop and delete” at this point? I physically could not do it. That’s it, I am in, and there is no going back. S-U-C-K-E-R.

I can’t recall a lot of the names right now. The laundry had some of my attention and I was really trying hard to resist the whole thing so that could have been part of the problem but I am going to try and give it a “Go” here.

Masked man Jeff does not trip me out and I like the concept as does Ashley. I think he is probably very good looking and will be a great surprise to us all. Did Mickey actually land the kiss? It looked like she pulled away but he says he landed it. I like West (the lawyer who lost his wife), love the vineyard guy (is it Joe??), thought the guy who called his mom was funny, think Nick (the personal trainer) might end up being cheesy, not into the hair stylist from Manhattan Beach but am open to seeing what he becomes, thought the best “gift” of the night was Constantine tying the pink dental floss around her finger BUT I am always wary of Greek men (long story but just trust me on this one!). I like JP from NYC a lot but think he might be a little metro so he is a wait and watch and the Ohio guy who does all the impersonations…well, I think I know why he is always the transition guy. The first impression rose went to solar guy Ryan. Always taboo but who knows? He is a little too cheese whiz on a wheat thin for me but again too soon to judge. And Ames? Really? She kept Ames? Ick!!! I don’t care how East Coast Yale and Harvard, double masters educated he is. Blah, bland, yucky! Finally let us touch on (or just touch please) Bentley. Interesting to already know that she has been forewarned about him…hmmmmm. We have never had this before. I feel strongly that all of the “stuff” they show him saying/voice over in the previews of what is to come is a cut and paste and not truly anything he actually says in succession. I am excited to watch and see how he plays out because they have been so quick to make him the bad guy out of the gate. Not sure what in the hell he and his ex were thinking when they named their child Cozy, but because of his hotness I am going to let this one go….for now.

Tim the Drunk couldn’t have embarrassed himself anymore (actually if he wet himself then that may have been the topper) and I was relieved that she had him put in a car and taken away. How funny was he though? Just looking at her with a NY mobster drunk grin (he very possibly could be in the mob so good call to let him go early ;)), spilling beer down his front, telling her he sells “Wine and Spirts”. Liquor distributor…how appropriate. I think I saw in the previews (although I would like to erase the mental picture from my mind) the masked man sitting on the pot, reading the paper and wearing his mask? I don’t like to see my own husband sitting on the toilet so why are the allowing us to peek in on this man while he is dropping the kids off at the pool? We get it…he wears his mask constantly…thanks for the solid proof. Anyone catch the “You gotta have guts and nuts” comment? Loved it. I am convinced that the guy from Canada got sent packing because she didn’t like his teeth and speaking of, has she figured out that Blake is the dentist? His veneers scream it so I am sure it is something she will touch on soon.

All in all, I think Ash might have the best pick of guys in awhile. Thailand, Hong Kong, Fiji…lots of adventures ahead; more elephants, possible nuclear poisoning and big Asian bugs await her but it looks as though it all might be worth it. Let’s just hope that my decision to hit “Play” was as well. Come on Bachelor Peeps…give us a good one this time! Please prove to me that my temporary lapse in judgment was not a bad one. Give me some good shit to rip on, enough material for mocking but let me also cheer for someone, be happy for Ashley and find myself smiling through some of the “moments”. I long for at least a few hot tub scenes, want to have to pull the pillow over my eyes a few times and of course need a good “could you be any cheesier, roll my eyes” moment. I wouldn’t object to a little embarrassment, some machismo, maybe a few rounds in the ring (guys vs. guys of course) and an ambulance always gets things going. Throw in a little heartbreak, as I am game for a few tears but let it all be for something this time around! Give us a match, a marriage and an “After The Final Rose” that we can feel good about. I am with Ashley on this one…”No Regrets”. That’s right…Don’t make me regret hitting that damn “play” button. Game on…