Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Tutus, Braided Headbands, Gingham With Stripes...Is this What Not Wear or what?????

Hmmmm, sex in the shower (Kovacs and Elizabeth), Gia falling for Wes, Jessie B. falling for Gia (forget it Natalie) and a surprise twist of the season…we have a professional ballerina living in the house….why else would Natalie be dressed as one at the Rose Ceremony??? Let us explore…..
There really is no explanation for Natalie’s hot pink tutu and black leather halter….it just simply rendered me speechless. I have no idea what the plan was there other than to look like a slut in a tutu…goal accomplished!

So Gia screws over Craig, which ultimately screwed up the “outsiders” alliance (yes, Nikki second that emotion)all for a douche bag like Wes. PEOPLE, have we not learned ANYTHING from the previous shows? Wes is a talker Gia!!!! He is playing your New York lisp to the hilt. Abandon ship…DO NOT trust this boy!!! He is singing you (literally) the same song that he sang Jillian…OMG. Does he not have any other original songs in his repertoire??? You have a boy back home who probably worships the way you speak as much as he worships your little rockin’ bathing suit model bod. Play for the money honey, not for the love of the Bachelor’s biggest Scam Artist. And please…no more wearing Olivia Newton John’s braided headband circa 1985 that she wore in her Let’s Get Physical video. This is not a look anyone can pull off. It was East Coast Mafia Princess meets early seventies Flower Child…weird and disturbing all at the same time. Concentrate on re-building your alliances and stay focused. Bonus points…writing only Jessie B.’s name on all of those pieces of paper…Natalie was soooo bothered but Jessie was so stoked!

Jessie B putting it out there to Gia….I like it…If she can smarten up a little bit she will easily see that Jessie B . is ready to be a part of her team. He LOVES her and she needs to use that to her advantage. Ummmm, did he pretty much dump Natalie by telling her that she is the resident Bachelor “ho”? He was looking for a reason, any reason and his reason was WOW. I actually felt very uncomfortable for Natalie but by the end of the show when she said she would kiss anyone in the house for $20 then I was thinking you reap what you sow, and so you’s a ho! (just laughed out loud at my own rhyme). If his “ho” reason wasn’t enough for her then he could have ventured on to the tutu.

Jesse and David…I really didn’t mind this relationship but then again it lasted like 10 minutes. It is just too bad that she is about as bright as a burned out light bulb. In her defense she may not be good at playing the manipulator and went for it way to fast and just sort of fu*cked up her plan. I think these two may have a possible love connection in the end so for now, I am pulling for them but it is not lost on me that he was total crude, obnoxious, pig when vying for Jillian. He is a watch and see…..

Kovacs and Elizabeth…she is so pretty but SO freaky….what a waste. She is a kiniving, manipulative, game-playing extraordinaire. The only solace I take in watching her succeed is that I know Kovacs is playing her as hard as she is playing everyone else. He is so not interested in her beyond sex and using her in this game. She puts it all out there for him and he takes and he takes. She is a prime example of what we hope our daughters never become. I think if the girls can unload Kovacs (which I am confused on why they were all pushing for Kiptyn = more on that below) then the “insider” guys can unload Elizabeth. She is a pain in the ass, that girl. Trouble on a stick!

Tenley…oh sweet sugar coated Tenley. Baby, you have got to toughen up a little bit. Elizabeth should not have deferred to you and Kiptyn and your relationship when Chris Harrison called out her infatuation with Kovacs BUT you still can NOT react to everything that makes you uncomfortable with tears. We know that you are not rolling around on the shower floor in front of the cameras with Kiptyn…chill out. What we do know is that you can eat a pie like a mad woman and puke with the best of them. I have to comment here that I noticed almost every girl puked and I just couldn’t help but think “bulimia”…just a side note. We know that you are sweet to a fault and that you are running with the “insiders” but that you really belong with the “outsiders”. Get smart, get tough and sucker punch Elizabeth in the nose!

Kiptyn, Kovacs & David vs. Weatherman, Payton, Gia, Nikki, Krisily & Gwen….. Okay people, here is the thing…you could have picked any of those 3 boys. Why was Kiptyn the ONLY option??? Get rid of Kovacs or David!!! Keep the nice guy who might actually be willing to swing over at some point and get rid of the other 2 strong personalities. If Kovacs went, Elizabeth might give up and want to go to OR David??? Hello??? Jesse went last night so he would have been a good option to unload as well. Nikki would not have struggled with her decision (although if Gia stuck to her own plan and gave Craig the rose then the Nikki/Kiptyn talk would never have happened) to keep Kiptyn and get rid of Craig which is what ultimately happened. Next week Gia goes after Nikki and I so hope that Nikki calls Gia out. Did you follow all of that?????

Ashley (you might all be saying “who?”) is that girl who is truly an “outsider” but so badly wants to be an “insider” that she will do and say whatever Elizabeth wants, including wiping Elizabeth’s ass for her. Newsflash here…I cannot stand people like this. Know who you are and be proud of it. Don’t try to be something you are not and completely dumb yourself down to try and fit in. And she my friends is an elementary school teacher…God Bless America..

Weatherman has a crush on the old house marm, Gwen, and sadly enough, the old marm is not interested in him at all. Kudos to Gwen though…she has a little game playing in her and in the end she might just be the one to pull it off. The Weatherman rocked his Speedo this round and was actually a pretty funny guy. This however still does not make up for the fact that he is awkward and uncomfortable to watch when he is trying to love up the ladies. Bonus points for eating that pie in like 4 minutes and doing it without puking.

In closing I would like to ask this question…Who in the HELL is dressing Chris and Melissa and again, what is her purpose? The outfits these to don confuse me and her sudden 10” hair growth cannot be attributed to all the healthy shit her body is going though thanks to pregnancy. Speaking of pregnancy, if that little stick figure doesn’t gain some weight then she will break in half about 5 months into it. The flower dress with the big, white “wrap around the ankle” sandals, the black sequined “I Dream of Jeannie” pants, the metallic belt with the orange jump suit. Chris with his gingham shirts and striped ties in colors that would make the Gay Pride flag wave with a vengeance. Every time either of those 2 walked through the door I found myself asking “God, what's next???” Well, and then walked in Natalie….

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