Monday, July 5, 2010

Spain, Turkey…Tomato, Tomahto….Whatever!

Speaking of Turkeys lets start off with Justin shall we? WTF???!!! Really? Is that girl, Jessica really his girlfriend? Did anyone else notice via Skype the fakest crying you have seen since Ali’s tantrum on the hotel floor when she told Jake she had to make the decision to stay or go? I don’t know…I am smelling a Bachelorette induced ratings scam here. What a shit he looks like though, huh? All those voice mails being played back as he walked away from the hotel? Running from Ali and getting turned away at the restaurant doors? Hopping up along the tiered fountain and through the foliage to escape? WOW...someone really wanted to get away! I was shocked that Ali called him out the way she did…in front of all the guys. Sort of shows that she certainly can be a bitch which we already knew from the season before. Ali Cat bares her claws! MEOW! Justin pretty much will be wearing a scarlet letter for awhile now and if he has any illusions of grandeur that this escapade is going to be a “positive” in his life then he is as twisted as the show allows us to believe. I am sure he and Jessica are back together as she screams “STABLE”. I really never minded him because I was never disappointed by or in him. We all knew, compliments of every Reality TV spoiler outlet out there that Justin was there to simply implode and cause drama, which he did, so he served his time well. Good luck to Rated R and his wrestling career ;)

Frank….ick. I know a lot of you like him but he gives me the heebies. ICK!!!! I say ick for many reasons: his tooth, his wife beater with a tri-colored cardigan sweater over it, his weird wild-eyed, intense stare, when he sits he lounges back with his arm casually draped and CROSSES his legs (bad!), & he is too metro which makes him appear a little light in the loafers. Oh, and did I mention he is missing a tooth? In the very front? I like the manly men (Jesse anyone?) and Frankie, well he looks like the Jo Bros long lost, much older brother (for those of you who do not have a child ranging in age from 5-16 that would be the abbrev. for Jonas Brother). Thanks “scenes for next week” for pretty much confirming that Frank bails. Okay then, BYE! I guess Ali is going to get a taste of her own medicine. NOW, if they bring him back to the Final Rose ceremony and allow him to propose because “he made a mistake” & she chooses him, I will be phoning up my pilot to get the Cessna revved up so I can get my ass to LA and beat the shit out of the Bachelorette people. Just giving you all the “heads up”. FYI…I will have room for 3 more.

Chris L…Did he look hotter this week? I think he got a little “do cut” and man did it make him shine! He should have never gotten beat in Olive Oil wrestling by Craig, or any attorney for that matter. This does concern me folks. I would imagine with 2 brothers that he would be accustomed to wrestling and giving a beating here and there. In fairness to him, if he and his brothers used olive oil or any other oil for that matter regularly during brotherly matches, this concern would trump the aforementioned. But, I digress. Still a crowd favorite, a very big possible Final 2 but according to all media outlets and the most trusted of all, my gut feeling, get all you can of Chris now….before he is gone. Sorry Mom, I know you SWEAR by the Enquirer. FYI…I would be thrilled to be proved wrong here!

Craig. Does it get more awkward then you? So clear she was in her body language alone when you 2 walked off together after winning oil wrestling, and she looked longingly over her shoulder at anyone other than you. When at dinner she made it a point to laugh so much so you could not get a second of her with closed lips to go in for the smooch, and repeat scenario when watching the fireworks outside. I have never seen someone so blatantly give off the “friendship” vibe as Ali gave you. And you thought you had a chance and you semi-cried in the limo?? All the lawyers and possibly judges you will face over the next year will know that you semi-cried when Ali let you go and they are going to have smirks on their faces as wide as the Mississip. Consider yourself lucky. If it were me, I would be enjoying my final date with HOT Jesse and your ass would have been sent home long before, so wipe your tears and hold tight to the memories.

Kirk…Is it Kirk or Kirt? I think I realized that I have been calling him Kirt but it really is Kirk…I don’t care, neither are my favorite name and he is not my favorite guy. This whole scenario alone says so much. …he doesn’t leave a huge impression (I know he almost died from asbestos poisoning and I am sensitive to this fact but that still is no reason to pick a guy!). He has a hot bod and they have a little chemistry going on but I think we are starting to see that she has stronger chemistry with the others. I still think we will meet his super mom and share in some tender family moments…after that, he will be fini!

ROBERTO…Oh Roberto your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind ROBERTO(clap, clap, clap) ROBERTO! Final 2 and despite what all the mags and shows and everyone else says…I think she picks him. If only to stare at him for the rest of her life she would be smart making this choice!

Okay…next episode just started, I am late with this (par for the course this season) and now I am off to watch!

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