Okay, you have all asked where I have been and in fairness to me it is summer and sometimes girls just don’t feel like blogging! But I am back from Peculiar where I enjoyed some time with Jesse and the dogs and he wanted me to let you all know that he thinks Ali is a total skank, he was so hoping she would let him go so he didn’t have to make out with her again and to pretend to be all up in her shit. He also said she has bad breath. He is happy and doing well and sort of into me but he wasn’t too stoked about the husband and kids baggage so we are just going to be friends…I am totally cool with that.
So she let Kermit the Frog voice, P-sycho, nutty, loony tunes Casey go….ya think? What was the purpose of holding on to him for another week? Why would you put anyone through extra time with him…including yourself? I have never seen a more ugly or ridiculous tattoo and now he has to tote that piece of crap around on his wrist for awhile…I am assuming he will begin the process of laser removal asap, but then again it is Casey we are talking about and one never does know about him. Freaky Freak with his “guard and protect your heart”. That would have been enough for me to dump his ass on the first go round. If Ali found any of that attractive then she needs to have her head examined. I could barely understand one word the guy said anyway so with the exception of the occasional normal formation of a word and the sound melding in perfect harmony to actually catch a word that he was saying, it was all like listening to the teacher from The Peanuts. My God, can you imagine a life of listening to him talk? I wonder what it sounds like when he whispers sweet nothings into your ear? If he were so hot that it didn’t matter what he said (sort of like Roberto) then it might be okay, but he had nothin’ working in his favor. When that helicopter took off with Justin and Ali in it and Kermit was left out on the glacier I really didn’t feel all that bad for him….that is saying a lot seeing as how the lesser of two evils was JUSTIN!
Whatever Rated R…your time is up and we will all watch your girl call and rat you out tomorrow night. If you haven’t heard yet (this means you do not read People or Us, watch Extra or Access Hollywood or never spend any time on the internet…none of the above is possible) Justin has not only 1 but 2 mamas at home in Canada. Way to work it. We all knew that he would never be in the Final 2 so I feel void here. Letting him go will add some drama tomorrow night but that is about it. He clearly was brought in for that reason alone, so Mike Fleiss (creator/producer) got what he wanted and now it is time for the big wrestler to go. PS….I bet he gets his ass kicked in the ring nightly.
Kirt….asbestos poisoning? Whoa, I did not see that one coming. Talk about a rare illness to come down with! The matching sweaters were so gay but he was game and it looks like he is a fun guy so I guess that might score him some bonus points…oh ya, and the fact that he was critically ill might tug on the ‘ol heartstrings every so often~ I don’t know here….I think they have great chemistry but I get the feeling that he isn’t enough for her. It is like he is “all around good” but there isn’t one thing that stands out (except for the fact that he fought back from the brink of death but I am not sure if Ali would count that as a “glowing" quality). He is def. getting a hometown date as who would not want to meet the mom who was so super sleuth that she uncovered the fact that her son’s body had been taken over by a deadly fungus, but after that I think his days are numbered.
Frank…I just don’t care for him anymore. It doesn’t help that we have all heard that he too has a girlfriend back home and he decides that he is still in love with her but I am so never into any of these people who think that the CONTESTANT (it is a game peeps) is their girlfriend or boyfriend! NEWSFLASH: THIS DOES NOT A RELATIONSHIP MAKE FOLKS! It is a great way to meet and have a hall pass to make out with 25 guys/girls if you want to, but please do not fool yourself into believing that your time on this show is a relationship. Do I believe in the potential? Of course, which is why I watch (okay, I also watch so I can feel so great about the fact that I have a kick ass husband and to make fun of these people for your reading enjoyment) but when the guys and/or girls start calling the Bachelorette/Bachelor their girl/boy friend, you are so off of my “List of Who I Am Rooting For”. Truthfully Frank was off of my list the moment I saw him dance to the Bare Naked Ladies but that is neither here nor there. He will be removing himself from this show soon and I will no longer have to look at his snaggle tooth all of which I am fine with!
Chris L….such a HUGE fan but dude, please stop eating her face every time you kiss her. I find myself reaching up and wiping my own mouth off because I almost feel like you have slimed me a little too in the process. The “head down on her shoulder when you hug thing” sort of has to stop as well. I LOVE that he is such a nice guy, but (and I hate saying this) nice guys rarely finish first. They do however go on and meet a really nice, quality girl and get married and live happily ever after. He is too good for Ali and so I know in the end he will not be pinned with the final rose. He will however have a thousand East Coast girls knocking his door down to lick his wounds and make him feel better. I know he will be in the Final Four so I can’t wait to see his brothers and dad and where he comes from. If God only could make more guys like this one, the dating world would be a much kinder place. Side note: his performance on the horse was a bit of a turn off but he redeemed himself when he went down in that scary dark hole first. I would be so bummed if I had to go on that group date. I was shivering just watching it!
Craig and Ty….I don’t think there are any Craig fans out there (gee, I wonder why) but I know a few of you are digging Ty. Jury is still out for me. Perhaps it is because he reminds me a little of Chris N? I look forward to seeing her and Ty together more so I can form a stronger opinion. I am just neutral here but maybe after tomorrow night I will have more to say~
Roberto…still fine, steady eddy, doesn’t get too wrapped up in the “game” (perhaps this is because she has pretty much told him that he is better then she is…way to hold your cards close Ali!). The chemistry is hot, hot, hot and why wouldn’t it be? We will meet his family and he will be there in the end….but will she pick him?
Chris N….if you looked up the word “painful” in the New Webster’s Dictionary of Bachelor/Bachelorette Lingo you would see Chris N. Ummm……does he talk? Is he mute? Does he have stage fright or something? What in the hell and how did he make it this far? You would really rather hold on to him for one more week then Jesse??? At least you could talk to Jesse, look at Jesse (denim disaster any day over awkward mullet (Breen)!) make out with Jesse. To each his own but Thank God Chris N is gone. I am certain that he goes down as the contestant who said the least words EVER. And for the record, what he said was out of context and all riddled with nerves. It was almost like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders when he was left standing there….the fact that he looked so perplexed that he wasn’t getting a rose was the topper. Trust me Sugar…you are better off in the comfort of your own home and surroundings. Go in peace.
I hope I covered everyone….it has been a week and it is hard enough to remember what I had for breakfast yesterday let alone all of the nuances of these boys and this girl. I enjoyed Iceland. Very pretty, very clean but wayyyy to chilly for this girl. Interesting that we got to see the volcano that has caused so many problems for air travel at its beginning stages of eruption…who knew back when they filmed this that that would be the case! Speaking of Case, Casey is lucky that he didn’t get any closer ‘cuz I wouldn’t have been surprised of Rated R threw him into a half nelson and slipped and “accidentally” dropped him down into the hot pool of lava below. I think tomorrow night they head to Spain…this one has got ROBERTO written all over it! Aye Carumba, En Fuego, Muy Caliente and all that good stuff!
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