Hometowns Down.....

No, you didn’t miss last weeks blog…I didn’t write one but it was nothing I can’t sum up quickly so here goes. I totally forgot about Ty the week before, probably because I was trying to block out he and Ali’s alone time in the sweat room together (who thinks of these dates? Could anything be less romantic?). The fact that he pretty much feels the male role is the dominant, bring home the bacon role had him on my shit list and obviously Ali’s as well. Ty is a backwoods hick who needs to shop for his lady in the immediate vicinity of his home or fast forward to 2010 and look closer at gender roles and how the times have changed. Also, I told him if he continued to wear that piece of shit medallion that she was going to send his ass home…clearly he rolled the dice and now he is back in Tennessee! On the bright side…Portugal! Who Knew? Sign me up for a few weeks vacation there!

Now, on to Hometowns…..
I cried, SOBBED like a baby until I had a headache through all of Chris L’s date. Partly because I know he is going to be crushed when she doesn’t choose him and partly because he is so human and raw and emotional and real. His family was amazing, his dad as good as they come. When he kissed his dad after they talked (Jerad was not comfortable with that moment) it just confirmed that this is a family full of love and support. Whomever Chris L. ends up with will be so lucky to be with a guy who is going to love her the way he will and gain a family who is all about unconditional love. I don’t know that there has ever been a more genuine person then Chris L. in all of the Bachelor and Bachelorettes combined. If speculation is correct and he is not the chosen one, I think he would be a good call to be the next Bachelor.

Roberto…in case it hasn’t sunk in yet, ummmm, he is hot. I am willing to trade my Willie Mays original card for Roberto’s. Do I have any takers? Family salsa dancing time at the end was entertaining. His mom is named Olga as his sister? No people…girls don’t get to be “juniors” and if your name is Olga, do not pass that on to your daughter…really, one is good. Olga? So is she Cuban (or whatever they are) or is she German? The gene pool they got going on is interesting but whatever genes Roberto managed to get works for me! Ali and Roberto have LOTS of chemistry but I am not sure if there is a lot of depth. I still think he will be last guy standing but I am not sure about them for the long haul. All I know is that she is off to Tahiti with his fine ass and they are going to “get intimate” as his voice said as they previewed next week. You Go Ali….you milk that cow for all its worth…that’s right…you get a little bit of that Cuban/German/Olgas son and brother sugar. Lucky girl~

Kirk…WOW! Actually I thought it was going to be a disaster and it wasn’t. His dad is different but you know, you gotta make your money somehow and so the guy does it by “bringin dead animals back to life”. Whatever floats your boat. His dad turned out to be more normal towards the end…I think the show told him to play up the weirdness of his profession and his Green Bay accent. Is his step mom a former male? Was it just me or did she seem masculine and talk like a man? Was there a resemblance between Ali and his real mom? Maybe just the hair, minus the big poof for Ali? Grandma sure was proud of her cheesy potatoes …no one ever commented on them good or bad. I also expected a little talk about the Packers or a drive by of Lambeau….I thought all Green Bay peeps were super huge fans but not even a quick shout out to them, nary a pendant flag honoring them. Oh well, he has plenty of time to pick one up now that he is back home.

Frank = heebie jeebies. LITERALLY. I got the willies when they went running to each other in their opening sequence. Willies are not to be confused for goose bumps. Willies are a bad sign. Perhaps it was because he was wearing that piece of crap cardigan AGAIN and his wife beater tank top. Does he not have at least another cardigan to wear? AND can someone please explain his chest hair to me? If you are going to shave it you need to maintain it…like I do my legs. So f’ing nasty. He is a total head case, in case any of you missed that over the past 6 or so episodes. Nothing is more unattractive then a guy who whines like a girl and questions everything and shows zero confidence. His prickly chest hairs don’t help his cause either. I do not get what she sees in him? Perhaps it is the thumb ring he has been wearing? I just want to take Frank, walk him to the river and pull off all of his cheesy clothes and jewelry and throw them in. I would love to do the same with his snaggle smile. I know she is all heartbroken when he leaves next week but I say consider yourself lucky honey…more time that you can spend with cute, normal guys like Chris and Roberto.

I have to say Ali impressed me at the end of this show. She clearly struggles with the “hurt” aspect of this show and her tears are real. I would be crying as well and I like that she is true to her emotions . She does however need to respond when the one she dumps talks about what they are feeling and why. She just sits there with that huge bottom lip sticking out and sort of gives a consolation smile. There have been a few moments of awkward silence due to that and then the guy starts talking again to fill the dead air. I respond for her but sadly, you all can’t hear my witty and thoughtful, comforting and heartfelt words of encouragement. Channel me next week…..

So Tahiti here we come. I hope she encourages Chris L to stop eating her face when they kiss and to relax a little and not get so nervous and red faced around her, I hope she ravages Roberto every way she possibly can and I hope she throws Franks metro ass off of the pier and down below into shark infested waters. That will be a show worth watching ;)