Week Two...Let the Fun Begin!

Well, Well, Well….
Now, if it were one of the Bachelor’s who hooked up with a female staffer I am sure that we would not be calling him a “skank” and being raised by MY mother, I know better than to refer to another woman in such a derogatory way. So, I am torn here…..
Rozlyn, you dumb fuck! Did you think that your beauty made you untouchable? To many flashbulbs in your face fry your brain a little? Did you really try to argue the point that it is ok for girls to leave past relationships at home so your actions here should be justified? I would just chalk it up to the fact that you are stupid. I honestly think they told her to “scat” because they were all confused by her hair-do. What was that pony tail/bun/with a strand hanging out of the middle of it all? Really? Did you learn that on a shoot for “I Dream of Jeannie” wear? Did anyone else see her trip around the room while trying to pack? Does she not walk a runway? Was she drunk? The show won’t be as pretty without you but you certainly won’t be missed. CLASSIC!
Now, you all know that I am no huge Jake fan and I swear he gets cornier as the time goes on (is it possible?). WHAT was with the tears from all the other chicky’s as they discovered Roz’s indiscretion? OMG! PLEASE! The weeping, the moaning, the drama over poor Jake. He is living in a mansion in LA, has all of you throwing yourselves at his feet (oh ya, except for Elizabeth), gets to make out and touch more boobs in a few weeks time then he probably ever has in his 20 + years. He is fine, he will recover and yes, he will think you are the girl for him because you wept for him.
Elizabeth, you big tease. I am always concerned when a 25 year old girl is a “Nanny”. Okay, so I was a Nanny post college BUT I was going to esthetics school at night and living in a way too expensive apartment in the armpit that is Campbell, CA during the dot-com boom (thanks Jer) with the aforementioned boy who I was roping into marrying me, SO I had a good reason. What is her story? Mark my words….she is up to something!
PSYCHO or for those of you who have missed it, Michelle. Like I said last week, NBC is keeping her there and we are all saying “why is she still there?” and he must feel nervous to be alone with her because it is clear that he tries to avoid her. I wonder why one who is like that goes onto national television to expose it all to the world? Wouldn’t you like a job somewhere when this is all said and done? Not gonna happen Michelle. Next week she brings the drama so she is good for that!
Vienna (sausage) (LOL) – Girls, you DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT need to air all of your dirty laundry and then weep about it in the first few days of getting to know any boy. You wave a BIG HUGE “UNSTABLE” flag and it only gets weird. Dress your little puppy in a matching outfit and go to lunch and just b-r-e-a-t-h-e. You are a wild and crazy girl for running off and eloping (what was that??? We did not need to know that.) but you have learned a valuable lesson from that mistake…hence the reason you are now on tv looking for a husband?
Jessie and Valisha…pipe up girls…it is bad when I don’t even know who you are!
Gia…you are a pretty package, although your mouth is a little weird and while we are on that subject…”SHHHHHHHH” your NY accent is a little to Soprano/Mafia Princess…sort of scary. No talk!
Christine you were a little deer caught in the headlights. I thought if you opened your eyes any wider I was certain that your eyeballs were going to pop out of their sockets. Be gone little fawn back to the grassy hills of San Diego as your run is done.
Ella in the SUPER flashy red dress. Please don’t wear that again. Pretty lady though and it was hard to miss the smirk when Roz was booted. She gets props from me as she didn’t shed a tear (sort of tried to pretend sniffle but was secretly doing a happy dance on the inside). I don’t know about the mom thing though and I am still creeped out by the fact that you either A. took your child’s favorite toy from him to try and impress a man or B. you totally lied about the whole toy thing. Hmmmm…..
Ashleigh and Ashley….same name, different spelling, don’t love either and not really impressed. One is gone (ley) and my guess is leigh is probably right behind her.
Saved my Top 3 for last…Corrie, Tenley & Ali
Corrie is just so sugary sweet. Anyone catch her at the very end being a giraffe? She missed the whole part of what kind of animal in bed are you and when they told her that is what they meant she almost fainted. Totally his kind of girl. Corrie, sweet but not as sugary…I think she is a good call. BUT, the girl of the night…Ali….
She is C-O-O-L, someone that we would all enjoy hanging out with. Not a stick figure, pretty in a natural way and salt of the earth. She trusted him and put her fear aside to fly with him (think back to Jillian and Ed rappelling that wall together = love) and didn’t puke or pass out so that was good. Now, when they played “On the Wings of Love” I peed my pants I was laughing so hard, but they are true to their theme and are going to milk that one for all it is worth. LOVED Chicago and dancing in the park (could have done without You’re The Inspiration) and think they have great chemistry BUT….why did she show up to the Rose Ceremony in a lovely dress and black Chuck Taylors and a man’s sports watch? Did I miss something? Was that his watch that he gave her? I have nothing regarding the tennis shoes so we’ll just hope that she was trying to be Funky Fresh and won’t try it again!
Next week Michelle is going to rear her claws (and fangs) and probably overdose on something for attention, since threatening to leave did nothing for her. Tenley and Corrie will still be sweet, Elizabeth kiniving, Ella questionable and we might even get to the bottom of Valisha’s name. Jake will do or say something so dorky that I will bury my head in my pillow and sing “la-la-la-la” till I think it has passed and Ali will hopefully get some cuter shoes. We will sit and watch and cringe and email and of course, I will be looking forward to it all!